Saturday, October 03, 2009

A Brief Timeline of Wake Up Sid's Release

Disclaimer- All real names & events in this post have been modified to suit the content of this post. The content of the post itself is completely fictitious.

August 2009- Wake Up Sid slated for release on October 2nd

September 29, 2009- Indian Watchmakers Association alleges the title literally undermines the ability of alarm clocks. Asks the producers to make it a period film or change the title. Matter sub-judice; release delayed.

September 30, 2009- Organization of Fanatic Buddhists protest against the title for insinuating that Siddhartha, the enlightened, is yet to wake up.

October 7, 2009- Producers change title to Grow Up Siddle; kill two birds with one stone. Movie redubbed to replace Sid with Siddle; music CDs pulled off shelf, title song rewritten, new CD on stands on October 20. Movie to be released on October 23.

October 20, 2009- Complan protests against the title's implication that an adult has not yet grown up in a country where their product makes palm trees of everyone. Matter sub-judice; release delayed.

November 20, 2009- Title changed to Siddle Grew Up; the coming-of-age scene re-shot to show Ranbir drinking Complan. Movie slated for release on November 27.

November 25, 2009- BSP workers ransack Dharma Productions office claiming Maya, and not Siddle, grew UP. Matter sub-judice; release delayed.

December 10, 2009- Title changed to Get Mature Siddle. Dubbing redone; movie to be finally released on 18 December

December 16, 2009- 20 Indians attacked in separate incidents in Australia. Peter Siddle's family objects to their son being asked to get mature. SM Krishna rushes to Australia. Release delayed.

January 2010- Title changed to Get Mature Da. Whole sections of the movie re-shot. Movie to be released in April 2010.

January 2010- DMK objects to the use of a Tamilian nickname for a Hindi-speaking actor. Demands Rajnikanth be cast and the movie be made in Tamil, or the title changed. Jayalalitha jailed.

February 2010- Producers inform DMK that it's the Bengali Da.

February 2010- TMC objects to the use of a Bengali word for a Hindi-speaking actor. Demands Buddhadeb Basu's resignation.

March 2010- Producers play safe; change title to Get Mature Vikram. Re-shooting pushes release date to August. Ranbir changes name to Ranbeer for better fortunes.

July 2010- Tharoor tweets "Why the obs'sion wth a ttle? Wht abt the content? If a nme meant evrythng, Gandhi wld be considered dirty."

July - August 2010- Massive protests nationwide against Tharoor's tweet for denigrating Gandhi. CNN-IBN's new poll- Was Tharoor right? (Y/N)

August 2010- Mahesh Bhatt announces his next project Get Mature Shashi, a hard-hitting story about Twitter, sex, and drugs.

August 2010- Karan Johar sues Mahesh Bhatt for piggybacking on his movie. Mahesh Bhatt counter-sues Karan for using his nephew's name without permission. Karan Johar informs him Vikram is a common name; says "You throw a stone, you hit a Vikram".

August 2010- Karan's comments hurt sentiments of Tamil actor Vikram's fans. Vow to build him a temple with all the stones thrown. Demand the movie not be released in Tamil Nadu.

August 2010- Karan makes peace with Vikram's fan club. Decides to delay the release date to October 2, 2010, exactly a year after the original release date.

Semptember 30, 2010- Association of Violent Gandhians (AVG) protests against protagonist of a movie releasing on October 2nd having beer in his name. Demands the release be delayed to October 9. Ranbeer changes name back to Ranbir. Movie to be released on October 2.

October 2, 2010- Movie released among much fanfare.

October 2, 2010- Raj Thackeray demands Bombay be changed to Mumbai in the film. Also demands all commercial establishments shown in the movie be pixilated or rewritten in Marathi. Movie pulled off the screens in Maharashtra. Karan Johar protests saying he issued an apology last year; says “I thought only the public has a short memory.” Political leaders unite across party lines protesting this insult of the aam aadmi; demand the movie be banned all over India.

October 3, 2010- Karan Johar stops the film's screening worldwide; passes the baton to Anurag Kashyap for his expertise in late releases.