Tuesday, December 27, 2005

My Amul: 2 more topicals

(On the renaming of Bangalore to Bengaluru)

(On the recent roughing up of young couples in Meerut by women constables. )

Monday, December 26, 2005

My Amul

If you are an employee of Amul, please inform me before suing me for using the brand-name. Hope you like them!

On Star One's celeb-dance competition

On the monopoly of Amul Butter

On the recent sting operation

My Amul: BCCI Elections

This is the first of many AMUL-like advertisements I'll be putting up. If you are an employee of Amul, please inform me before suing me for using the brand-name. Hope you like them!

Friday, December 23, 2005

Muckshay's Laws: 2-10

***Objectionable Content: Author's parents, please digest it with a bucket of salt.***

Muckshay's law of Abstractness
Awe is inversely proportional to comprehension.

Muckshay's Law of Motion
The severity of the pressure is inversely proportional to accessibility to a toilet.

Muckshay's Law of Baldness
The rate of hair loss at time 't' is directly proportional to the amount of hair at time 't'.

Muckshay's Law of Blogging
If many posts are posted on the same day, the topmost post will have the most number of comments.

Muckshay's Law of Linkin Park's Music
The probablity of Linkin Park making a good song = probability of Pink Floyd performing in Varanasi = probability of Sidhu shutting up.

Muckshay's Law of Karan Johar's films
Gross revenue from ticket sales (in crores) = volume of tear drops (in thousand million cubic feet)

Muckshay's Law of Yashraj films
Box-office success = 1/tolerability

Muckshay's Law of Shahrukh Khan
Numer of times SRK neighs = Number of times SRK speaks

Muckshay's Law of Item Numbers
Height of success is directly proportional to depth of cleavage.

Saturday, December 17, 2005


This poem is dedicated to the wonderful dish that's my truest companion on train rides. As tasty as the tastiest thing, and as satisfying as a Marvadi feast, this one's for you, dear B.O.

The date is fixed, the meal is not
We'll feel hungry, something must be bought
Call it a rat, call it a bullock,
Whatever it is, it's running in my stomach.

My wallet is thin, my budget is low,
From my seat to the pantry I must go.
I walked up to the man and said hello,
"Dus rupye ke liye kuchh de do"
My mouth watered as he drew a cake,
"Sau rupye ka hai bas soongh ke dekh"

All his friends laughed out loud,
Oh! Damn I wish I was behind a crowd.
"Don't worry", said Rama, "That's their usual drama,
I'll tell you a story narrated by my mama."

"Once upon a time a man was hungry,
Unable to bear it he ran to the pantry.
Sorry sir, they said, we had only one hen,
Which we had to butcher to make the chicken.
What's that, he asked, round and oval,
Must be an egg, I saw it in a novel.
Oh! that's nothing sir, we just throw it away,
It's a regular problem we face everyday.
No my good man, please give it to me,
Let me rack my brain and get the recipe,
And thus they watched him make something yummy
Wow! that's cheap, they said, and fills the tummy

As he was leaving, they yelled PLEASE WAIT,
Please name the yummy dish we all just ate.

Gimme a second dude, he said, just a sec mate,
And then said between mouthfuls, O DREAD I'M LATE,
Mistaking this for the name, hearing it wrongly albeit,
They named the new dish Bread Omlate"