Screw-ups- Part II

These are three of my personal favourites. Hope you like them.

BATHING DOES MATTER - RENTWALIKA


Nose closed, no matter how far,
Could’ve emptied a shopping mart,
Forever smelling in the class,
And bathing does matter.

Never repelled myself this way,
The smell is yours but it comes our way,
Your odour makes our heads sway,
So bathing does matter.

Yuck you reek & look awful too,
Dust is stuck to you like glue,
No one will say your shirt is new
Yes bathing does matter.

Never spared the teachers too,
Never saw their wrinkled brow,
“Don’t come now……”


Now closed, behind jail’s bars,
For leaning on the P.M.’s car
When the driver went in the lunch hour
So bathing does matter.

“Now I know I’ve been a goose,
Stinking pig left on the loose…
Now I know…….”

Never thought of himself this way,
Full of remorse, in jail he lay,
“I’ll use Cinthol and Camay,
Coz bathing does matter .

What I seek is solitude,
Unless you guys are merciful,
If not all, then a trusted few,
Oh bathing does matter…………


Now I will bathe everyday,
Even if it snows all day,
Never care for a cold flu,
I’ll do this coz I know,
But might be slow….yeah hey

Now roams in a blue car,
Entertaining women every hour,
Jealous friends say the grapes are sour,
See bathing does matter.



EVERYTHING I DO I DO IT FOR BOOZE – BRAIN FATHOMS

Look into my eyes, you will see,
They look like cherries.
I just snort, when I’m told, that if I don’t stop now, my liver’ll be sore,
Don’t tell me it’s not worth spending for,
Don’t tell me the chance of dying is more,
You know me too,
Everything I do, I do it for booze.

Look at other guys, you will find,
They too drink but they hide.
Taste it with some ham, taste with sprite,
If you don’t get zapped, I shall sacrifice.
Now don’t tell me it’s not worth trying for,
I will help you, to cure a hangover.
You’ll say it too,
“Everything I do, I’ll do it for booze.”


There’s no mug,
Like a beer mug,
And no starter,
Can beat Fosters,
I won’t allay,
Even if dad’s there,
A shot of lime,
And the stink’s at bay.

Don’t tell me my salary is too poor
I can’t leave it; I’d rather be no more,
Yeah I’ll swipe for booze,
I’ll cry for booze,
Walk on fire for booze,
Yeah I’ll bribe for booze.
You know it’s true,
Everything I do, I do it for booze.



AIRWAYS TO SIWAN– LETS ZIPPITIN
(Siwan is a town in Bihar)

There’s a lady who’s sure
If all the cattle is sold
She’ll be building an airport in Siwan.

To the press then she goes
For the cameras she posed
With a third of her party she entered.
OOOoooo.....And she's bringing the airways to Siwan.
There’s a smile in the hall,
When she said this would cure
All the deaths that were caused by foot-boarding.
During tea she said “look, there’s space for spitting,
It’ll have all of its windows wide open.

There’s a feeling I get,
That we will beat the rest
Coz we’ll stop by for anyone waving;

And during droughts there will be special flights to the fields
And for dhobis a clothes-line for hanging.

And then by next June, we'll round up all the goons
Without tickets, coz there’s just one entrance;
And a new day will dawn for farmers who wait long
Coz the harvests will travel much faster.

If you’re an SC, then wipe your brow, your rates are low,
It’s just a half fee till 18.
If there are 2 paths we can fly by, we’ll take one
Where it is tough to ply the carts on.”

The crowd was buzzing and it didn’t go coz it didn’t know,
Which airline agreed to join in.
“Dear Rudy can’t you see the crowd glow, you should know
Our airways’ll ensure that we will win.”

And as the fuel tank got over,
His prayers reached ground control
There talks a lady who doesn’t know,
It can’t take cows and buffaloes
(Pilot): “How can its milk be used as fuel?”
And when he pleaded very hard,
(Lady): “Diesel and oil will be the past
When all is done give me a call”
(Pilot):“At 8’o clock you’ll know the toll”

......And they’re bringing the corpses to Siwan.